I knew it would take time.
I had this weird feeling as i opened my diary last night-
Sometimes this overwhelming feeling of reliving a person through words
is more real than the actual thought of having them near.
Keeping my numb hands warm with a past that gave me the destruction to reincarnate into something full in desire, a thousand mirrors can't reveal this pain
I still hold inside.
A morning for me- is like a struggle through what I hate most-
waking up from a night of dreams you thought existed.
Living in-between bed sheets that shaped the bodies of me.
And as desirable as it is to live the day- I still can't overcome the feeling of having
a knife of lies running down my spine.
And if my eyes don't look at your way anymore-
It's not because i don't care- It's because i don't feel.
And if my eyes don't open to daylight,
It's not because I'm looking to end life- It's because I don't feel.
Overwhelmed by the experience of missing him-
I calm myself with the strongest drug-
The addiction of processing words.
Words that were closures to love affairs.
THE FEMALE ZOO